Today, I have decided, will be different

You know how sometimes you get stuck? In a rut? Are needing a fresh start? Well, I've been in the mood for change lately. I want things to be different, I'm itching for new-ness. Things are good, I'm definitely not complaining, but I want to make a change. I want to be better. Something that I learned from a friend is when you are making a change, do it boldly – make it a "Massive Change". If I'm going to change things, I really need to do it, I need to be 200% committed, I need to make a decision, stick to it, and make massive changes. This is something I can and definitely want to do, and I need to make these changes now. What changes you ask? Well, I can't really tell you right now, but I will definitely keep you posted as they start to appear! Be prepared for BIG things!! Wish me luck!

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama

Mean Disney Girls

Thank you, Alyssa, for sharing this with me, it totally made my day!! It combines two of my favorite things - Disney movies and "Mean Girls"!

Mean Disney Girls

Watch and enjoy!! :)

Life after nursing school?

Being in nursing school is the best. Really, it is. I get to learn how to take care of people, how to serve individuals and their families in the most vulnerable positions. Being in the hospital is scary and hard. People want to leave, they are frustrated and don't know what to do, they want to help, but can't. Needless to say, sometimes people aren't always on their best behavior in the hospital. It's hard to see families and patients suffering, but it's a good feeling knowing that I get to help them during this time. I am studying so that I can take care of them with the best possible care and technology. I also have the blessing of being at BYU studying this, with the emphasis on the "Healer's Art", allowing the Spirit to guide my care and provide me with the tools and guidance to give the holistic care.

However, on that note, there are also a lot of . . . gross things that go along with it. I've done and seen and smelled things that I never wanted to, and I'm supposed to be professional about it! It's really hard sometimes not to make faces, pretend like what happened isn't really embarrassing, and make someone feel comfortable when they have absolutely no privacy and are completely exposed. It's a really interesting experience. I'm really starting to get used to things I never thought I would be able to handle, it's amazing what changes once you've done something enough times. I just can't believe that I'm graduating in just a few months!! I'm really excited to start spending my weekends doing something other than reading textbooks and trying to stuff my head full of disease pathology, nursing implications, diagnostic procedures, and treatments of diseases named after people who died a long time ago. In just a few short months it will all be over and I'll be let loose on real patients! Kinda scary (ok, really scary), but really exciting too!!

Anyways, I've begun to start a "when I graduate" list. This is a list of things I want to do, places I want to go, and things I want to buy once I have a job, a little money, and maybe even a life!

First, I would like to buy a road bike. I love working out, especially outside when the weather is so nice. Next I would like to travel around Europe, hopefully with my mom. My next few favorite stops are in Newmarket, England (maybe get a little more family history done), London (I must see Mary Poppins this time), Paris, Florence, Rome, Venice, and Sienna. I've always wanted to go to Greece, so I really hope we can go there as well. There is a ton of art in Spain that I would like to see as well, I guess we'll just have to see how it all works out! I would also like to be certified to teach classes at the gym. I love going to a good "Chisel" class (courtesy of Kathleen, of course), "Tread" (by Julie or Trish), and spinning – I love spinning. I think it would be a fun little hobby, especially since I'll only be working 3 days a week. And I don't know why, but I think it would be so great to work at the makeup counter at Nordstrom's. I'm not even very good at doing makeup, but I think it would be such a great job! Of course I'll be saving for grad school and life in general, but these things are my "in a perfect world" scenario – hey, a girl can dream, right?

If I had a mental illness, what would it be?

This semester I'm taking a Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing Class. It's one of those things that I love learning about, it's so interesting and is already really helpful in everyday situations, and I think everyone should take a class like this. The other day in class we were talking about a disorder and I thought to myself "if I had to have a mental illness, but I got to pick which one it was, what would it be?" After some thought, I decided on bipolar disorder.

Now, to clarify, there are two kinds of bipolar disorder – Bipolar 1 and Bipolar 2. Bipolar 1 is where a person has had at least one episode of severe mania, which causes significant distress or greatly impairs one's work, family, or social life. Bipolar 2 disorder is where someone has experienced depression and at least one episode of hypomania, but not severe mania. Hypomanic episodes characteristically do not cause significant distress or greatly impair one's work, family, or social life.

I think that depression is such a sad illness (no pun intended), it causes such disruption and affects the way people feel about themselves in every way, which is contrary to our divine nature, but I also think that everyone suffers from it to some extent at some point in life. Whether it is experiencing death of someone close, tragedy within a family, or frustration in an individual life – there are many circumstances which cause deep sorrow and has physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional manifestations. It is definitely not something I want. However, on the "opposing team" we have mania. Mania is defined as "a state of abnormally elevated or irritable mood, arousal, and/or energy levels." People who are experiencing manic episodes have enough energy to dig Lake Powell in their back yards, tend to be impulsive, and don't sleep. They are jittery and agitated and feel like they can do absolutely anything. People with bipolar disorder experience both sides of this spectrum – depression and mania. However, with Bipolar 2, there are episodes of hypomania. Hypomania is "almost mania". It is where they have the energy and drive to do anything, but it doesn't interfere with their daily life.

Now, call me crazy (haha), but this doesn't sound too bad! Right now in school there is so much going on and there is so much I want to be involved in, and I really wouldn't mind having enough energy to live on minimal amounts of food and sleep and get things done. I would want as little of the depression as possible, but being able to have the energy and drive to do anything and everything sounds perfect to me! (Well, perfect in the world of choosing a mental illness!) I'm not discounting the life-altering changes and challenges that come with mental illness in any way; it was just something I was thinking about in class. If you had to choose, what would you pick?

Here is a list of famous people who have a bipolar disorder . . . in some of them it totally makes sense, you can really see the characteristics of the disorder.

Jim Carey, Rosemary Clooney, Robert Downey Jr., Ben Stiller, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Robin Williams, Ludwig Van Beethoven, George Fredrick Handel, Vincent Van Gogh, Robert Schumann, Buzz Aldrin, Sting, Winston Churchill, Theodore Roosevelt, Edgar Allen Poe, Mark Twain, Virginia Woolf

About today . . . thoughts and things

Jake picked Vienna, totally gross.

At the gym this morning my headphones ended up getting stuck in the stair climber. Do you know what happens when headphones get stuck in the stair climber? They break. I am now currently out of headphones, a situation which must be remedied asap.

Current favorite studying music = Owl City

I like the same things for a long time. You may call me boring, but when I find something I like, I really like it and I'm quite loyal to it, until I change my mind. Example: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I love them. I could eat one every day, and I did through elementary, junior high, high school, and the first 4 years of college. Sometimes I just need a change, but I still love them!

Smile. It's a really good idea and people like it. It makes you feel good too.

I love waking up early. I feel like I get so much more done and I just feel better. I highly recommend it.

I heard this on the radio today. Here are 5 things your body does that nature can't explain:

1. Yawning
   
2. Adolescence
   
3. The placebo effect
4. Dreaming
   
5. Blushing
   

Click here for the full article. Kinda interesting, huh?

A note to boys . . . please don't wear plaid shorts and striped shirts, it does not constitute an outfit. Ever.

And maybe it's just me, but when you're studying in the library (or other public place) do you ever wonder whose itunes library belongs to whom? Some people use their own names (I am one of these not-so-creative individuals), but others have some pretty fancy nick names! Sometimes I just look around and give people names based on the available options in the connected itunes library lists. The worst is when they leave and go to class. So for today, thank you "Kyle", I love your itunes library. I have a feeling we would get along quite well. And if we ever meet, I would like to burn myself a CD or two because I'm cheap and can't afford the elaborate music selection you have.

Halloween

In response to my Valentine's Day post, which included something about why I think Halloween is ridiculous, I have a response to a comment . . .

I am gonna get you started on Halloween. It's pretty much the coolest holiday in the world... short of Christmas. Boojah.

Well, you asked for it! Here goes!

Halloween? Are you kidding me? It's completely pointless! There is no social, cultural, political, or religious basis for this ridiculous holiday (except in Mexico, but we're not from Mexico, do not celebrate Mexican holidays, and currently live in and support the land of the free and home of the brave so I'm not sure exactly why it's important to include Mexican holidays on the American calendar). Also, the way we celebrate it has nothing to do with the actual holiday itself. You dress up (it doesn't matter how you dress, it just matters that you don't dress like you usually do for a few hours at night - you can even dress like someone else you know, it just has to be different than your everyday clothing) and you walk around to strangers houses asking for candy by saying "trick or treat". Technically this is a question, would you like to trick me? or treat me? And they have the answer already prepared in the form of a small piece of candy, most of which I don't like. What does candy have to do with this holiday? Nothing. Then you get home, after wearing your weird outfit, usually covered by a winter coat because it's so cold, and sit on the floor and spread your bounty in front of you. What do you end up with? A whole bunch of sugar you don't really need, ruins your teeth, and could possibly be tainted by the candy-giver-outers (it's a possibility and has happened before, I'm not too concerned, but it's definitely possible). Besides, I don't actually like candy, anything gummy, chewy, sour, stretchy, shaped like an orange peanut, or needs to be sucked = gross. I only like some chocolate candies, which are few and far between. So after I have celebrated a holiday that means nothing to me and has no importance or significance, worn a really uncomfortable outfit that usually itches and needs to be constantly adjusted and kept from getting stepped on or ruined by other passing children, and become a human popsicle from the cold that I've been walking around in for hours to get something I don't even want, I VOW to never celebrate it again. Happens every year. And carving pumpkins? A great date activity and they look cool with the candle inside, but really, they are kinda dumb. I don't usually carve spaghetti squash and set them outside my house for Mother's Day, but who knows? She might appreciate it!